My Xbox seems to have the most expensive power button I have ever experienced in my life. When I first purchased it, many moons ago, turning it on was as simple as pressing the big button on the front, or by holding the button on the control pad. Now though I have to be prepared to pay £4.25 to turn it on. Why? Because I’m stupid! I have hundreds of games I could play but the only ones I play recently are Fifa Ultimate Team, or Lips. Whenever I turn Lips on I seem to be drunk and therefore decide it’s a great idea to buy lots of songs to sing-a-long to. But I can’t blame the Fifa costs on alcohol, the only thing I can blame that on is my childishness

Ultimate Team is like a trading card game, where the players you get in packs you can play in your squad. It’s one of my aims in life to get Lionel Messi in one of these packs. The packs can be bought for gold coins. To get these coins you need to play games and win tournaments. Well, that’s two of the ways. The third way is to pay £4.25 to buy a few packs. I seem to do this all the time, decide all the players are shit, discard or trade them, try and play a game, the EA Servers crash and then I turn off my Xbox, only to forget about this experience and go through the same process next time

Messi seems to go for around £25 on ebay. That’s such a stupid amount of money for a player in a game. Or is it? It’s tempting, and would probably save me money in the long run. But there’s something exciting about buying a pack of cards. It’s the modern day equivalent of buying a pack of Premier League 95 stickers. Only instead of opening the pack and getting 2 shinies and one half of a team photo I’m buying a pack of virtual cards on a console and getting Gary Fucking Madine