Picky Little Tosser

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I am not, repeat not, a picky little tosser. Sometimes I want to point out to people that they’re wrong but not in a way to say “ner ner, you are wrong” but so that they’ll learn something new and not be wrong in future. A perfect example happened earlier. Someone on Facebook uploaded a picture of some vegetarian sushi. Now as everyone knows, sushi is, to quote Wikipedia, “a Japanese dish consisting of cooked vinegared rice which is commonly topped with other ingredients, such as fish or other seafood.” However, someone commented on the picture saying “Veggie sushi? So is there no fish in it….can that be called sushi.lol. ;-)” I have no idea who that person is so if I’d pointed out that sushi doesn’t have to have fish in it I’d have looked like a right tosser. But now they’re going through life thinking something that is totally wrong. It’s something I’ve pointed out to people before and got into arguments over. Again, this is something I don’t understand. They’ve heard from someone, or more than likely assumed, that sushi is fish (in most cases they think it’s raw fish). Now if I, someone who knows and can back it up with evidence, points this out I get laughed out, told I’m wrong and then get talked over so I can’t present my case. These people need to die

But just to reiterate, I am not a picky little tosser

Also, the wax looked a bit ridiculous today


Ooh What A Shave

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So after feeling stupid for buying a razor for £2 that I thought I’d never use I’ve ended up using it twice in the space of 3 days. I look ridiculous without a beard but on Sunday I had to shave as I trimmed my beard wrong so had to take it all off. What a numpty I am. It looks even more ridiculous as my hair really needs cutting. Unfortunately my mum is ill and it’s her that usually does it, hopefully I’ll be able to get it done this week though. To try and make it look a little better I’ll be wearing wax in my hair tomorrow. I’ll be sure to keep you all informed of how that goes

My press up regime is coming along nicely. When I started I couldn’t do many more than 8 but on Sunday I had to do a test to see how many I could do now and got to 30. I could have maybe gone on but 30 is a nice round number. However tonight it tried to make me do 100 in total, split over 5 reps, but I couldn’t do that many at all so have had to lower myself a level on my app. I hope to hit the 50 mark by middle of Feb

I’m only a couple of days into my sit ups app and haven’t noticed any improvements but it’ll happen slowly like the press ups. I think I’m going to join a gym on Friday t start my couch to 5k

Anyway, I need to go now, busy day tomorrow. I’ll be sure to let you know how the wax goes!

It’s Roasting

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I’m currently watching The Comedy Roast Of David Hasselhoff. It is so much better than the crap “roasts” we had on our tv last year. The one of Bruce Forsythe was just people making crap jokes about him being old. “Bruce was around before the dinosaurs”. Hilarious. The Sharon Osbourne one had one good bit where they said it was a shame Ozzy hadn’t got the strength to finish it off when he tried to kill her, but the rest was also crap. Well, apart from Gok Wan insulting her fashion sense!!! She hasn’t been seen in public since.

But the americans, they know how to do a roast. The Chevy Chase one was really good but as it was old I didn’t know a lot of the stuff they spoke about. This Hoff though is incredible. I’m 2/3rds of the way through and so far they’ve:

  • Compared Hoff to Hitler, but noted that Hitler knew when to finish his career
  • Called Hulk Hogan a fag a lot of times
  • Told Lisa Lampanelli she couldn’t be on Baywatch as they didn’t have any 10 piece swimming costumes
  • Said the reason black people don’t go near Lisa is that she’s the size of a slave ship
  • Made jokes about Pamela Anderson’s pussy having stuff growing on it, and it being very loose
  • Told Hulk Hogan the sound he can hear is a 19 year old’s balls hitting his wife’s chin
  • Taken the piss out of Hoff for rolling around drunk trying to eat a cheeseburger
  • And pointed out a lot to Seth Macfarlane that The Simpsons and South Park are better than Family Guy

And that’s only what I can remember off the top of my head. It may not sound good but it really is properly incredible. And to celebrate how good it is, it’s time I post my first picture


The Hoff



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I’m currently watching NFL. It’s Packers @ Bears. It’s the Championship Game. I watched it a bit earlier and then got a bath and stuff and turned it back on just as the 4th quarter was starting. It was 14-0 to Packers and Cutler is injured, so his back up has come in. He threw a great pass to Knox to set up a touchdown and it’s now a 7 point ball game. It’s very tense. I really really hope Hester wins the game with a punt return or with a huge touchdown. A win would be amazing anyway, but just wish Hester would be the main part of it

There’s 7 and a half minutes left. Packers have just punted but Hester didn’t run with it. This is gonna be a game winning drive. COME ON BEARS


EDIT: Not a jinx in the slightest. Fucking hell


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Today is mine and Bonse’s one year Camra anniversary. And to celebrate it we’re at the National Winter Ale Festival

So far I’ve got a balloon hat, lost at tombola, lost at shut the box, won a glass for £7, eaten 6 krispy kreme, and drank an ale that smelt of farts

More tomorrow

Absolute Bargain

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It’s just what everyone needs to clear up the post Christmas blues, an absolute bargain. And it’s come at the perfect time as I got paid on 17th December and won’t be paid again until January 28th, so this absolute bargain came in very handy. Payday really can’t come soon enough, I’ve spent far too much on This, That and The Other (also known as Presents, Food and The Booze), but it doesn’t matter how much money you have when an absolute bargain like this comes along, you just have to take up the absolute bargain or regret it for the rest of your life

So today, when I saw this absolute bargain, I knew straight away that this was something I’d be buying. It was £2, the perfect price for an absolute bargain. So at 11.30am in the atrium I queued up and waited for my turn to be able to purchase this absolute bargain. I handed over my £2 coin and in exchange was handed a goodie bag, absolute bargain

So what was in this goodie bag? An absolute bargain, have you not been paying attention?! The actual items though were a pen and a notebook, which are found in all goodie bags, but the icing on top was a Gillette ProGlide razor. The latest in the line of Gillette Razors. The RRP is probably going to be around £10. I got it, along with a pen and a notebook and a spare blade, for £2. Absolute bargain

I have a beard, I don’t shave, it’ll never get used, but come on, no-one can pass up an absolute bargain like that


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Today I completed day 6 of my 100 pushups app. Well technically it’s day 11 as you have a rest day in between each day of doing pushups, but that doesn’t matter. When I’ve been doing my pushups it’s been hurting my stomach as you have to tense your stomach to keep your body straight (according to something I found on google). So I’ve decided to start the 200 situps app too and today was day 1. Now what I should be doing is alternating the days I do them but I decided to start today just so I’d made a start. This was a bad move. After my pushups my stomach hurt a little bit. So I did my situps, which really hurt my neck. So what now? Do I need to find an app to work my neck muscles? I’ve had a look but the 300 Neck Revolutions app doesn’t exist yet. No doubt if I got it I’d end up straining my eyes anyway. Maybe I’m not cut out for all this exercise. Only time will tell. If in the mean time you see me and I’m limping, no doubt I’ve started doing chin ups too and pulled a muscle in my thigh

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