Epic Fail

I am a failure!

Happy February

The title means I would like to wish everyone a happy February, not that it’s so far been a happy February. Work today has been mental with the lowpoint being not winning an iPad in the raffle, even though I’d convinced myself I was going to. Tonight has been quite fun though, I’ve worked a bit on a spreadsheet that will pull data back from a forum and then look at the data and work out what predictions have been entered. I now have a proper plan of how it’s going to work and my “Go-Live” date is March 1st. I’m gonna run it like a proper project, I can probably put it on a CV, right?

I’ve not done any press ups for a few days as my app seems to think I’m at a higher level than I should be. Had a quick go just now and managed to do 20 without hurting at all, then did 25, then another 15. They’re so easy now, it’s mental. I’m still aiming to be able to do 100 by my birthday. Plan!

Tomorrow I’ll be mainly working on my spreadsheet. My letter about my new job needs to hurry up and arrive, I really really can’t wait to start

Transfer Request

What a day. Been incredibly busy at work and tomorrow is Go-Live on the new project so will be another busy day. I’m in at 6.15ish. That’s 6 in the morning! Mental

In between working very hard I’ve been keeping track of the transfer deadline day. It’s been great fun reading it all and catching up but waiting for stuff to be announced is so annoying. Torres to Chelsea is gonna be great to see. Really hope he plays on Sunday against Liverpool

Think that’s about it for today. I’m typing on my phone which is why it’s short. Really tired too so gonna have an early night

Happy February everyone! Goodbye January 2011!

10 O Clock Live

I’ve just watched the 2nd episode of 10 O Cock Live. It’s a bit of a strange program. There are so many good ideas in it but it doesn’t really live up to its potential. There are a few steps I think they should take to make it better

1. Do not let Lauren Laverne try and be funny
2. Scrap point number 1, just don’t like Lauren Laverne talk
3. Scrap point number 2, just get rid of Lauren Lavern. She is not funny. Women aren’t funny
4. Get rid of the bit where Brooker does a boring rant
5. Make the interviews longer

Point 5 is the main one they need to work on. In the 1st episode there was an interview with a banker and some other people about banker’s bonuses. It was good but cut ridiculously short. As was this weeks interview with Alistair Campbell. But the main one that annoyed me was the interview with someone in favour of locking suspected terrorists up for ages without a trial, some woman who opposed it, and a guy who got arrested for being a suspected terrorist. It was really interesting and looked like it may get a bit heated and then they stopped it. Ridiculous

Someone found my blog today by searching “paddy mcguinness hair transplant”

Dead Air

I’ve played about an hour of Dead Space 2 and really love it, but I feel so sick so have had to stop. I don’t feel sick due to the gore or anything, just a lot of first/third person games make me feel sick when they’re set in dark places. FEAR did it, the first Dead Space did it, so many others do. It’s very annoying. In a way it’s good though as I’ve played just over an hour and could have easily played it all night

It’s so good. I was originally playing it in the dark but ended up jumping quite a lot. When I played the original it was around 2am and my curtains were open and it was really dark. My mind started going mental and I had visions of a severed head slamming into my window and it made me wonder what would happen if that really did happen. I think I’d have died of a heart attack. It would be the scariest thing ever. I was then that scared I didn’t dare move to close my curtains, as my logic was if I moved to do it it was more likely that a head would slam into my window. Note: I am not mental

So yeah, Dead Space 2 is really good. Hopefully I’ll play more tomorrow. I’m probably going to go to bed in a minute as I’m working tomorrow AGAIN. Today was my 6th day in a row, there are 6 more to go before I get a day off. GOOD TIMES

I’m Going To Jersey Shore Bitch

Tonight I finished work at 8.30 and then had to wait at a bus stop since then, which was awful. But since then it’s been a great night. I played Cover Orange on the bus which is really fun. Then I got a burrito which was really nice. From Sainsburys I got some diet coke with cherry and a vanilla and choc cheesecake, yum. I watched the start of The American Office which had David Brent in. It wasn’t the best bit ever but I liked it as reminded me of the English one. The rest of the episode was awful so I turned it off halfway through to watch Jersey Shore

Jersey Shore is amazing. I’ve started really liking Snooki recently. I’ll probably talk more about the show at a later date but this episode was so good. There was great parts, then drama, then arguments, then make ups, then a night out and then a really nice bit. It’s meant the end of the night has been ace

I’m now off for a bath and then to bed as tomorrow I’m in work from 9.30ish which sucks

Also, today I officially got a new job. Don’t know when I start but it’s gonna be great

With Power Comes Money

My Xbox seems to have the most expensive power button I have ever experienced in my life. When I first purchased it, many moons ago, turning it on was as simple as pressing the big button on the front, or by holding the button on the control pad. Now though I have to be prepared to pay £4.25 to turn it on. Why? Because I’m stupid! I have hundreds of games I could play but the only ones I play recently are Fifa Ultimate Team, or Lips. Whenever I turn Lips on I seem to be drunk and therefore decide it’s a great idea to buy lots of songs to sing-a-long to. But I can’t blame the Fifa costs on alcohol, the only thing I can blame that on is my childishness

Ultimate Team is like a trading card game, where the players you get in packs you can play in your squad. It’s one of my aims in life to get Lionel Messi in one of these packs. The packs can be bought for gold coins. To get these coins you need to play games and win tournaments. Well, that’s two of the ways. The third way is to pay £4.25 to buy a few packs. I seem to do this all the time, decide all the players are shit, discard or trade them, try and play a game, the EA Servers crash and then I turn off my Xbox, only to forget about this experience and go through the same process next time

Messi seems to go for around £25 on ebay. That’s such a stupid amount of money for a player in a game. Or is it? It’s tempting, and would probably save me money in the long run. But there’s something exciting about buying a pack of cards. It’s the modern day equivalent of buying a pack of Premier League 95 stickers. Only instead of opening the pack and getting 2 shinies and one half of a team photo I’m buying a pack of virtual cards on a console and getting Gary Fucking Madine

Picky Little Tosser

I am not, repeat not, a picky little tosser. Sometimes I want to point out to people that they’re wrong but not in a way to say “ner ner, you are wrong” but so that they’ll learn something new and not be wrong in future. A perfect example happened earlier. Someone on Facebook uploaded a picture of some vegetarian sushi. Now as everyone knows, sushi is, to quote Wikipedia, “a Japanese dish consisting of cooked vinegared rice which is commonly topped with other ingredients, such as fish or other seafood.” However, someone commented on the picture saying “Veggie sushi? So is there no fish in it….can that be called sushi.lol. ;-)” I have no idea who that person is so if I’d pointed out that sushi doesn’t have to have fish in it I’d have looked like a right tosser. But now they’re going through life thinking something that is totally wrong. It’s something I’ve pointed out to people before and got into arguments over. Again, this is something I don’t understand. They’ve heard from someone, or more than likely assumed, that sushi is fish (in most cases they think it’s raw fish). Now if I, someone who knows and can back it up with evidence, points this out I get laughed out, told I’m wrong and then get talked over so I can’t present my case. These people need to die

But just to reiterate, I am not a picky little tosser

Also, the wax looked a bit ridiculous today

Ooh What A Shave

So after feeling stupid for buying a razor for £2 that I thought I’d never use I’ve ended up using it twice in the space of 3 days. I look ridiculous without a beard but on Sunday I had to shave as I trimmed my beard wrong so had to take it all off. What a numpty I am. It looks even more ridiculous as my hair really needs cutting. Unfortunately my mum is ill and it’s her that usually does it, hopefully I’ll be able to get it done this week though. To try and make it look a little better I’ll be wearing wax in my hair tomorrow. I’ll be sure to keep you all informed of how that goes

My press up regime is coming along nicely. When I started I couldn’t do many more than 8 but on Sunday I had to do a test to see how many I could do now and got to 30. I could have maybe gone on but 30 is a nice round number. However tonight it tried to make me do 100 in total, split over 5 reps, but I couldn’t do that many at all so have had to lower myself a level on my app. I hope to hit the 50 mark by middle of Feb

I’m only a couple of days into my sit ups app and haven’t noticed any improvements but it’ll happen slowly like the press ups. I think I’m going to join a gym on Friday t start my couch to 5k

Anyway, I need to go now, busy day tomorrow. I’ll be sure to let you know how the wax goes!

It’s Roasting

I’m currently watching The Comedy Roast Of David Hasselhoff. It is so much better than the crap “roasts” we had on our tv last year. The one of Bruce Forsythe was just people making crap jokes about him being old. “Bruce was around before the dinosaurs”. Hilarious. The Sharon Osbourne one had one good bit where they said it was a shame Ozzy hadn’t got the strength to finish it off when he tried to kill her, but the rest was also crap. Well, apart from Gok Wan insulting her fashion sense!!! She hasn’t been seen in public since.

But the americans, they know how to do a roast. The Chevy Chase one was really good but as it was old I didn’t know a lot of the stuff they spoke about. This Hoff though is incredible. I’m 2/3rds of the way through and so far they’ve:

• Compared Hoff to Hitler, but noted that Hitler knew when to finish his career
• Called Hulk Hogan a fag a lot of times
• Told Lisa Lampanelli she couldn’t be on Baywatch as they didn’t have any 10 piece swimming costumes
• Said the reason black people don’t go near Lisa is that she’s the size of a slave ship
• Made jokes about Pamela Anderson’s pussy having stuff growing on it, and it being very loose
• Told Hulk Hogan the sound he can hear is a 19 year old’s balls hitting his wife’s chin
• Taken the piss out of Hoff for rolling around drunk trying to eat a cheeseburger
• And pointed out a lot to Seth Macfarlane that The Simpsons and South Park are better than Family Guy

And that’s only what I can remember off the top of my head. It may not sound good but it really is properly incredible. And to celebrate how good it is, it’s time I post my first picture

 

The Hoff